Daily Submissions

Freedom through captivity

Written By: gracie - Jan• 07•12

It’s true, there’s a freedom I’ve been experiencing as we’ve begun to explore this deeper power exchange. My Sir has, as well. I can feel the difference from him, just as he can from me. He’s spoken about it very eloquently, but I figured I’d offer my own viewpoint, too. It turns me on, just writing about it. It is bliss.

I am not a patient, passive person. I want what I want, and in most cases I don’t like being told no. When you think of an ideal submissive person, I’m almost the polar opposite of what ought to spring to mind. My dynamic with Sir holds a great deal of struggle, sass, and humor.  There’s never been a great deal of grace in my submission.  So this new path is exciting, in that I get to explore a new mindset. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a position to really explore it, and I am so happy to think of being pleasing to my Sir in this way. It is actually allowing me to look at myself and my submission in a new way! Consequently, it’s also allowing me to view his dominance in a new way.

Despite my snarky FAQ list for various fetlife groups, a lot of my new attitude has been informed by the input from fetlife.  I feel more confident that my relationship doesn’t have to look like anything to anyone else, so long as Sir and I are happy.  I have quirks and traits that are unique to me, but those things don’t make me flawed. Not looking at myself as someone who is inherently flawed is something I’ve been actively trying to work on for over a year now, and it’s finally starting to sink in. I don’t think the timing is coincidental, so there’s another freedom afforded to me by our dynamic.

I’m trying not to worry  that I’ll fail. I know on some level that he won’t let me fail; that we’ll adjust according to our needs. It’s hard to fully embrace that line of thinking because I feel like I should be able to accomplish what has been laid out easily. That being said, I know I still have a lot of things to conquer. The one message I probably haven’t conveyed enough to my Sir is how much I need this experience to build me up, so that I can do all the things that need to get done.  He probably knows this instinctively, though, as he’s a pro, like that.

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