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Happy New Year!

Written By: gracie - Jan• 02•12

We finally finished polishing up our contract, which you can see over at Duality of Pain, and it went into effect yesterday. I’m back to tasks and string, this time with my collar around my neck- hooray! It also means that I’ll be putting the “Daily” back into this blog. More hooray! It’ll be nice to get back to putting my thoughts to e-paper. Except for those times that the blank page stares me in the face and dares me to write anything in its wake. Kind of like what’s happening right now.

I do fully intend to update the FAQ from my previous post with more snark, but not just yet. For now, I’ll just express that when my Sir put my collar on me as the new year was born, it was the best feeling ever. Seriously. In his entry today, he mentions that I’m less reserved than I was prior to the collaring- less burdened by niceties; less inhibited, so to speak.  I’m going to attempt to explain why that is, at least from my perspective.

Some of it is, as he speculated, a sense of freedom in being possessed. It stems directly from that line of thinking, in fact. Part of my rules express that I will be obedient and willingly available to him… and if I hold back any part of myself, I feel like I’m violating both of those things. I know what he likes and expects now; I’ve committed to his pleasure, now I just have to follow through.

There will be less ‘no’ from me, and more ‘yes.’ Well, ‘Yes, Sir,’ anyway. More than probably ever before, in fact. I’m really looking forward to where we go from here. If you’ve read the contract, you know it’s nothing overly complex, but it’s still a big step. We are going to be vigilant about what does and does not work and correct anything that doesn’t work. It’s already happened once… only 2 days in!

He mentioned resolutions on NYE, and I announced that I wasn’t making any, since that’s the best way to guarantee that whatever it is, it will never get done, but I guess there are a few I’ve been keeping in mind: Continue my progress toward mental health, maintain some of my personal relationships, go back to the meditation group, read more books, get enrolled in school. Those are some of the big ones, but they’re far from all.

I am looking forward to 2012.

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