Daily Submissions

30 Days of Submission #6

Written By: gracie - Sep• 22•11

I’m back! Sorry for the double miss, all. I’ve decided to start on the 30 days of submission in earnest, and #6 is a group of questions that are frequently asked, with regards to BDSM roles.  I have a lot to say on the subject, and hope it’s interesting!

What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else? 

So, addressing the questions in order, I will begin with my submissive roots, and if my childhood contributed to my inclination to submit. Childhood absolutely contributed to who I am today, in every respect.  This is true for everyone.  They don’t refer to your childhood as “formative years” for nothing, after all.  Regardless of the good things I picked up on: “Be nice.” or the negative lessons learned;  ”I will not put myself in a passive-aggressive relationship.” or the bad habits I still have, like my short fuse under pressure, childhood frames how we perceive the world.

That said, I don’t believe in nature vs. nurture.  The two are inseparable.  I was born with submissive tendencies.  My experiences cultivated that.  It’s just who I am.

For us, it did not begin as a “management” tool.  My Sir was looking for a specific type of relationship when we crossed paths, and I was immediately drawn to him.  Our D/s dynamic was pretty much the first thing we established about our relationship.  It does serve as quite an effective tool at times, though. It’s the same principle as domestic discipline, I think. There’s a leader and a support role. The leader is driven to protect his (or her) support, and the support is all about shoring up and serving the leader to the best of her (or his) ability.  This creates a dynamic that is harmonious and attentive.  The two are more likely to communicate, based on what I’ve seen.

It is sexually thrilling, for sure. It’s just more than that, too. The whole package is appealing to me.  I feel like he is deserving of everything I give him, and then some.  I love being attentive to his needs. It is fulfilling in a way vanilla simply would not be, and even when I struggle with it, I am still aware of how blessed I am to be able to have my Sir in my life, and to experience this life with him.

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